exactly one year ago, on february 2, 2016, bill wurtz posted a video that would become one of the most educational and wholesome memes of the year.
thank you bill.
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socks on Christmas
- <p> 8 year old me: what the heck I said I wanted toys
- me now: *crying* thank you.. thank you sweet christ my feet are always so cold.. so very very cold</p>
the struggle of being into astrology
- me: so when's your birthday
- person: it's in march haha
- me: okay, but what day?
- person: why does that matter?
- me: i just like wishing people a happy birthday :)
- person: okay
- me: haha :)
- me: [internally] why won't you just tell me when you're born omfg how the fuck am i going to know if you're an aries or a pisces you little piece of shit
me throughout the year: if only i could justify buying this Thing :/ Maybe christmas or my birthday.
my mom: give me a list of things you want for christmas/your birthday
me: i have never wanted for anything ever in my entire life
my sense of humor: getting birthday cards with the wildly incorrect age on it for people
yeah so i slept with this dude last night and idk we were chatting a bit during the sexy time and for some reason his birthday came up and i was like “wait 25th of september? DUDE me TOO, wtf thats such a coincidence” and he was like “really? we have the same birthday? are u fuckin with me?” and i just looked down at his penis literally inside my vagina and was like “well technically yeah” and he was like haha nice one and high fived me
this customer at work was just telling me about her present for her sons 18th birthday and said she got him 18 gifts each with 100 dollars inside and asked me “do you think he’ll like that?”, yeah listen lady if your garbage kid doesn’t appreciate you getting him 1800 dollars for his birthday I will straight up murder him with my fists, take his identity and be your son
birthday woes bc being a middle class teenage white girl is hard
- 15-year-old me: MOM I'm practically an ADULT ugggh you never let me do ANYTHING in olden times i could get MARRIED *eye roll into another dimension*
- me now: for my birthday i want food and to stay on your health insurance
whenever i try and learn something new
- me: It seems that I am not immediately excellent at this
- me:
- me:
- me:
- me:
- me: it is because I am a failure
- me: everything I touch dies